Barrister by day, Bacardi by night

Here ... Read This

Go away.  No wait, come back.  I didn't mean it, really.  I know that I've been neglectful.  I know that I haven't been writing much.  But it's not that you don't mean much to me, it's just that I've been really busy.  Seriously, it's me ... not you.  If I had a choice, I wouldn't cramp myself in a tiny room at the library, cooped up with other students attempting to memorize Restatement Third of Torts.  In the mean time, God bless LexisNexis.  Here's how I get through the night:

• Torts (PDF file - 425KB)
• Criminal Law (PDF file - 364KB)
• Contracts (PDF file - 334KB)
• Property (PDF file - 381KB)

The above links are intended for current law school students at Texas Wesleyan University School of Law this Spring 2005 semeester.  Under Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act, the Fair Use Doctrine allows the public to make limited uses of copyrighted works without permission.  Nonprofit or educational use, even if giving credit for the source of work, does not create an inherent fair use in the creation of family or personal websites.  However, restricting acess to the material are creative ways of strengthening your claim of fair use.

For Our Eyes Only

My fellow friend and classmate Ronnie Hall wanted to share this photo with everyone.  Ronnie was essential to my outlines, without which I would still have many gaps in my class notes as a result of my frequent absences.  Enjoy.

Versus

A recent visit to Parenthetical Statement demonstrates yet again why my blog can never make it with the big boys.  At the very least, I'll give credit where credit is due ... no plagerisms here.*  This leads me to Barely Legal: An Underachiever's Guide to Law School ... where other law students definately have way too much time on their hands.

Anyway, the typical Asian child grows up with his parents expecting a docter, or at the very least, an engineer.  Well, I've done my research and made the comparisions.  Obviously, I've made the wrong decision.

Cool Title You Get Upon Graduation

• Law School: Esquire
• Med School: Doctor

Advantage:  Med School.  No guy has ever, EVER, picked up a girl by saying that he's an "esquire."

For more comparisions, check out Law School vs. Med School.

* at least 99.9% of the time

POWER of Attorney

It's an hour before midnight and all I can do is stare at the ceiling tiles with a blank look.  Sleep is a sheep's leap away, but yet I feel restless.  A void deepens in my soul as "Purpose, Desire or Knowledge with Substantial Certainty" fill my waking thoughts.  No, no, we're not in a Model Penal Code jurisdiction.  Around and around, I find myself in a perpetual daze -- the never-ending series of multiple-choice questions.  That's when I turn on the television to Harvey Birdman - Attorney at Law.

Once the aviary superhero known only as Birdman (1967 Hanna-Barbera series, Birdman & The Galaxy Trio), Harvey now battles injustice in the courtroom.  Representing fellow cartoon stars, such as the infamous Fred Flinstone and Boo Boo Bear, Harvey Birdman, Esq., takes on the legal system as only a masked hero with large wings can.  Habeus Corpus this, Reducto!  You can more courtroom drama on Adult Swim. 

Desperate for Bonus

Tune in Sunday nights for your last-minute cram session because Professor Short announced his bonus topics for the Property II exam.  Each bonus question is equivalent to a multiple choice question (approximately 1.67 pts), which may be the difference between a B and a B+.

This semester centers on the Incredibles and Desperate Housewives.  So, in the amount of time that you could spend studying Joint Bank Accounts is approximately the amount of attention that you should spend watching TV.  I've spent the last two hours researching the show Desperate Housewives and I'm no better off understanding its story-line than I was earlier this afternoon.  As far as I'm concerned, some lady died and the rest of the series is about five really horny middle-aged women in dire need of sedatives.  Here are the fruits of my labor available on MS Powerpoint.

Giving a Good Oral Job

Everyone's got an opinion, especially if you didn't make it to the Sweet Sixteen round of the 1L Moot Court Competition.  I know that there are a lot of egos in my class -- and rightfully so.  Therefore it comes to no surprise that many of us, who actually wanted to win, left the preliminary rounds very disappointed.  I didn't advance ... but I didn't have the heart to drink my frustration down either.  Instead, I had a Whataburger Meal and watched Comedy Central all night.

Unlike Lincoln-Douglas (LD) debate or CX debate back in high school, Moot Court is not exactly an adversarial competition.  Rather, it's a 10-minute face off between you and the judges.  You advocate your position or issue and the judges ask you questions.  At the end of the round, the judges don't vote in favor of one side or the other, instead your performance is rated against the other competitors.  So yes, even your "teammate" is an opponent.  Advancing from the preliminary rounds is determined by your cumulative score based on two presentations.  I suppose that it's possible to be ranked 2nd in one section and but still advance because your overall score is among the top 16.

My biggest frustration was that my worst critiques were, "don't start until all the judges look up" and "ask for more time if you need it."  I'll admit that I was a little fast (a tendancy left from my high school debate days) but I was very articulate.  I'll be pissed if that's I was penalized heavily for going over 5 seconds in my second round.  It reminds me of the good ol' days in Oration where the judge writes, "Good ... Good ... Good ... Good ... 7th."  So I'm left asking myself, "What the F---?!  What the F--- did I do wrong?"  Download my prepared statement for oral arguments.  But as my good friends say, "Jack, get over it."

Here are a few suggestions when you prepare for your oral arguments next year.  Many thanks to Ramey Ko, UChicago 2L, for his last minute pointers.

• The prepared statement should make the main theme of your argument.  This should be very clear within the first three or four sentences.
• Keep on Target.  You will be interrupted right away by questions, so keep the theme simple and strong so that you can go back to it.
• Weave a common thread through your answers, which tailors to the judge's inquiries, and keep coming back to the theme that you've developed in your opening statement and throughout the brief.
• If the judge confronts you with a difficult line-drawing question or pushes you to lay down a rule for something that's tough ... Don't overreach.  Be
  be willing to acknowledge that some questions are difficult and concede that there are problems but that your proposal is better on balance.
• Always remember to address the judge as "your honor."  Open every answer with "your honor."
• You'll get interrupted often but the judges will expect you to resume talking.  So be ready to jump back into your argument, usually by picking up with the next paragraph. 
• Write enough as if you expected to speak for 10 minutes.  You don't want to be caught with nothing left to say if they give the floor back to you.

Bring an extra set of lungs

Get ready for Kung Fu Hustle and be prepared because IT IS a Stephen Chow film.  You already know that it's a rags-to-riches (or riches-to-rags-back-to-riches) film about yet another guy named "Sing" with untapped potential.  But it's still the funniest reel I've seen to year.  You must admit that it takes a great degree of comedic skill to make an audience laugh at even the most heart-wrenching death scene.  How is it possible that you don't know whether to mourn or laugh?  It's Stephen F-ing Chow.  Many of the scenes are so bizarre and so outrageous that the movie's sheer absurdity becomes brilliant.  This isn't some slapstick trash, like Dumb and Dumber, where gags are laddled onto your lap.  No, Chow's work hits you like a Mac-10 truck from out of nowhere -- often done by first showing someone's facial expression before delievering the punch line.

I never know what to think about the love interest in Chow's films.  Is there a deeper meaning behind the beast-to-beauty motif?  Perhaps Chow's hinting to the inner beauty that's hidden within us.  But there were scenes that almost made be cry.

Over the years, Chow has really developed as an actor, director, producer, and writer.  True, his movies follow the same simplistic (and often cheesy) plot with the same ol' characters (and often actors).  The only difference is the setting.  Chow's been a chef, lawyer, judge, undercover cop, eunch, secret agent, billards player, gambler, and begger.  However, it's a plot that never tires and can always be improved on.  Robert Ebert explains that the reason is because we cease taking pleasure at seeing the unlikely, extraordinary outcomes.  Each film raises the bar with its use of CGI technology that baffles even our sense of realism. 

1. God of Cookery - my first Chow film remains the my personal favorite
2. Kung Fu Hustle
3. Shaolin Soccer
4. Royal Tramp 2
5. Royal Tramp

1-on-1 Action

Professors say the darnest things.

Did you know that contracts to cohabitate are invalid?  That's right.  Suppose that I shacked up with some chick at the Poor House and we wrote out a contract where she'll bring home the bacon while I kept the house clean (as long as I'm at law school).  Well, too bad for me because the courts would never uphold such a contract.  Whether you're talking about hetrosexual couples or homosexual couples, these contracts are void by public policy.  Why?  Because you might as well get married.  Such contractual arrangments are thought to be too much like prostitution (sexual relations for consideration).

But get this.  Contracts for third-party individuals to have carnal knowledge of other third-party individuals (e.g. Jenna Jameson on Ron Jeremy) are enforceable.  As long are you're not the one benefiting from their interaction, it's legit.  Sometimes, its better to be a third party beneficiary.

Bunker Down

It's that time again.  Classes are finishing up, professors are passing out evaluation forms, and exams are around the corner.  For me, it's always been a bizarre mixture of emotions.  On one hand, I'm relieved that classes are over -- today was our last Contracts and Torts class ever.  However, on the other hand, I know the saying "April Showers, May Flowers" really refers to the exams that blossom out of nowhere.

And there's nothing like a group of students locked in a study room with five different contract books, study aids, outlines ... you name it.  Today we argued over the definition of Quantum Meruit and Quantum Valebant for 15 minutes.  Both relate the measures of recovery under a Restitution claim -- think of it as getting a reimbursement.  The difference is that one theory gives you the value of your services and the other gives you the actual cost of your services.  For instance, I sing you a song.  But since I'm no American Idol, you feel that my performance was rather worthless and deserved nothing more than an applause.  Yet, I figure that my time and services deserved some consideration, say, a cookie.  For some reason, I take you to court because you've been unjustly enriched by my presence.  Since you've done nothing to induce my benefits, you shouldn't have to pay more than what you believe is the value of my performance.  However, if you had asked me to sing, then I should recover my actual cost, at least a cookie.  The former is Quantum Meruit and the latter is Quantum Valebant.

Czech it out

What's the weather like in Prague?  I'll let you know this summer.  I've just accepted an offer from Čermák Hořejš Myslil, an IP and commericial law firm in the Czech Republic.  It's a 4-week internship experience through the Center for International Legal Studies.  The biggest drawing point? I have absolutely no idea what I've gotten myself into.  I don't speak Czech and I can't read the language.  It's like reading Chinese, oh wait, that I can do.  But what's with all these carrots and accents? 

I don't know anyone in the Czech Republic, let alone Europe.  I have no idea where I'll live.  I have no idea where I'll find a gym, assuming that I recover.  But I'm excited about finding myself in a completely new culture, no holds bar, and do something completely different.

More details to come.