Barrister by day, Bacardi by night

Talk about a conversation starter

A 31-year-old South Wales bus driver has outdone himself again.  When you next board the a double-decker Bus in Merry Ol' England, Christmas spirit will be brightly flashing before your very eyes -- in the form of a red christmas tree/wig.  I bet the next time his daughter comes home with purple highlights, he'll ask her to not to come home until she's whee bit more creative.  Read more on the BBC.

But a musical?

Alright, I'm really lazy right now.  But maybe I'll just do what Michelle Malkin does - point to other people's comments.  I figure as long as I cite them and keep myself within the fair use doctrine, what harm will there be?  After all, why say anything when someone has already said it better that I ever could in three minutes?  Any how, in my Google for "Alito" & "Asian-American", I came across another great find.  The musical version of Ang Lee's "Wedding Banquet."  Click here.

Yes, I'm aware I've used "Google" as a noun.  Yes, I'm aware "Google" is a verb.  Yes, I'm aware that if enough people say "google that" that the word "google" will fall into the average English lexicon just as "Kleenex" and "Xerox" have.  Soon, "Google" will loose its distinctiveness and a new reign of mass confusion will ensue.  Dilution?  Maybe.  Genercism?  Maybe so.

My new addiction

Su Do Ku

It all started out so innocently.  At first, I was just frustrated because I couldn't figure out what this grid was.  Then, I started seeing patterns and strategies.  Now, I'm hooked.  Look for it your local paper or check out www.sudoku.com. 

POWER of Attorney

It's an hour before midnight and all I can do is stare at the ceiling tiles with a blank look.  Sleep is a sheep's leap away, but yet I feel restless.  A void deepens in my soul as "Purpose, Desire or Knowledge with Substantial Certainty" fill my waking thoughts.  No, no, we're not in a Model Penal Code jurisdiction.  Around and around, I find myself in a perpetual daze -- the never-ending series of multiple-choice questions.  That's when I turn on the television to Harvey Birdman - Attorney at Law.

Once the aviary superhero known only as Birdman (1967 Hanna-Barbera series, Birdman & The Galaxy Trio), Harvey now battles injustice in the courtroom.  Representing fellow cartoon stars, such as the infamous Fred Flinstone and Boo Boo Bear, Harvey Birdman, Esq., takes on the legal system as only a masked hero with large wings can.  Habeus Corpus this, Reducto!  You can more courtroom drama on Adult Swim. 

Bring an extra set of lungs

Get ready for Kung Fu Hustle and be prepared because IT IS a Stephen Chow film.  You already know that it's a rags-to-riches (or riches-to-rags-back-to-riches) film about yet another guy named "Sing" with untapped potential.  But it's still the funniest reel I've seen to year.  You must admit that it takes a great degree of comedic skill to make an audience laugh at even the most heart-wrenching death scene.  How is it possible that you don't know whether to mourn or laugh?  It's Stephen F-ing Chow.  Many of the scenes are so bizarre and so outrageous that the movie's sheer absurdity becomes brilliant.  This isn't some slapstick trash, like Dumb and Dumber, where gags are laddled onto your lap.  No, Chow's work hits you like a Mac-10 truck from out of nowhere -- often done by first showing someone's facial expression before delievering the punch line.

I never know what to think about the love interest in Chow's films.  Is there a deeper meaning behind the beast-to-beauty motif?  Perhaps Chow's hinting to the inner beauty that's hidden within us.  But there were scenes that almost made be cry.

Over the years, Chow has really developed as an actor, director, producer, and writer.  True, his movies follow the same simplistic (and often cheesy) plot with the same ol' characters (and often actors).  The only difference is the setting.  Chow's been a chef, lawyer, judge, undercover cop, eunch, secret agent, billards player, gambler, and begger.  However, it's a plot that never tires and can always be improved on.  Robert Ebert explains that the reason is because we cease taking pleasure at seeing the unlikely, extraordinary outcomes.  Each film raises the bar with its use of CGI technology that baffles even our sense of realism. 

1. God of Cookery - my first Chow film remains the my personal favorite
2. Kung Fu Hustle
3. Shaolin Soccer
4. Royal Tramp 2
5. Royal Tramp

Grand Theft Attorney - 5th Circuit

I picked up this news story from Parenthetical Statement's "one up," (March 03, 2005).

First, we had space adventures with Roger Wilco.  Then we partied with wild chicks with Leisure Suit Larry.  Now get ready to file motions for limine with Gyakuten Saiban.  Capcom's bring its Gyakuten Saiban series to the US via the Gameboy DS console.

You begin as a rookie lawyer and gain experience by examining evidence, cross-examining witnesses, and getting help from barely-clad paralegals.  WHAT A GAME?!

So the next time the opposing counsel corners me in the middle of the trial, I'll just tell the judge, "Your Honor, A B A B Left Right Select Start."  To which the judge will immediately respond, "Well counsel, I award you an extra power-up booster and automatic win.  Here you go, son."

Read more from Game Spy here.

Top 5 Law Movies for Pre-1Ls

After spending a significant portion of my life in front of the tube, I now present the top 5 movies that inspired me to enter law school.

1.  The Paper Chase (1973) - Alright, I never actually saw this movie but I did see the trailer -- and it blew me away.  In fact, I don't even recommend prospective students to see this movie until after your first semester at law school.  I'll concede that the storyline is cheesy and the plot is obscure.  However, the movie's portrayal of every 1L's nightmare, on a pure intimidation factor, is brilliant.  All this from just watching the trailer.

2.  A Few Good Men (1992) - Call me a military buff.  I remember seeing A Few Good Men when I was in middle school and the idea of being a JAG officer was forever ingrained in my dreams.  The combination of two great professions, law and military service, just pulls together the best of both worlds.  What more can you say about the law than the scene where Lt. Kaffee (Tom Cruise) slams his hand on the table and shouts, "I WANT THE TRUTH!"  To which Col. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) responds, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"  Plus, chicks dig uniforms.*

*However the T.V. show JAG is just blasphemous.

3.  The Rainmaker (1997) - Ah, the story of an ambulance chaser who ascended to become the society's hero against the plights of corporate injustice.  John Edwards?  No, just Rudy Baylor (Matt Damon).  The movie reflects every law student's ambition to fight for the little people.  Sadly, $100,000 of student debt pushes most of us, including me, towards the dark side.  Somebody has got to be the villain.

4.  Jerry McGuire (1996) - "Show me the money!  Show me the money!"  At last, a movie that gets to the heart of the law.  It's all about the bling.  But the movie also has a more prominent underlying message about the client-attorney relationship.  When the client wins, the attorney wins -- and vice versa.  I've given some thought about becoming a sports agent or representing actors, but I've neither the charisma nor the enthusiasm for such a melodramatic field.

5.  My Cousin Vinny (1992) - For the most part, I could care less about the lawyer aspect of this movie, instead I recommend fast forwarding to the scenes with Judge Chamberlain Haller (Fred Gwynne, most notable for his characterization of Herman Munster).  Here we have a Yale Law School graduate serving as a county judge in Alabama.  He's not a very patient man but he is understanding.  His mere presence is a symbol of integrity, with a side of humor.  One memorable quote from Judge Haller, "It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn't do it."

6.  Legally Blonde (2001) - I included this movie out of spite against the Elle Woodss (Reese Witherspoon) at law school.  I may be no better than the Warner Huntington IIIs (Matthew Davis) but I have yet to see a dolled-up sorority ditz stand-up and deliver in class.  Maybe they'll magically blossom into stellar attorneys, but until then, these are the girls that you tear up in court room.  At least they can still be transaction lawyers, paralegals, or receptionists.

For a listing of law-related movies, click here.

§ 2-207, I Hate Your Loathsome Way

To the tune of "Baby, I Love Your Way" by Will to Power

Circles grow so dark beneath my eyes
With UCC there's no legal gauge.
Suddenly the school closed at midnight
And I've not read "conduct" yet,
But don't hesitate
'Cause, Hill v. Gateway ain't straight, oh no no

(Ooh) oh § 2-207, how I hate your loathsome way,
(Ooh) wanna tell you, courts don't want you to stay,
(Ooh) don't wanna let merchants get away, but hey yeah
someone's still gotta pay

If forms don't match quite narrow
Will a binding contract be?
Else negotiations may drag on now
Here on out to infinity.
But if expressly conditioned,
Things just wouldn't be the same.
'Cause it's a counter-offer now,
And these terms will never change
And these terms will never change

Circles grow so dark beneath my eyes
Was the change material wise?
I wonder how to apply section three
Its not exactly ABC.
But don't hesitate
'Cause, Klocek v. Gateway was straight.

(Ooh) oh § 2-207, how I hate your loathsome way (every day),
(Ooh) wanna tell you, courts don't want you to stay (night or day),
(Ooh) don't wanna let merchants get away (everyday, everyday), every day now
(Ooh) oh § 2-207, how I hate your loathsome way
(Night and day, night and day, oh oh oh) I hate your loathsome way
(Ooh) oh § 2-207, how I hate your loathsome way ('cause terms may or may not change).

[Repeat]