[In a tempestuous gust of air, Hurricane Ivan lifted Stephanie from her navy-blue BMW while driving to Fort Worth. Dazed and slightly confused, she woke up in the bizarre world of Wesleya.]
"Oh dear," gasps Ashleigh, the most kind and benevolent witch of all three 1L sections, "it seems that your car quashed the evil witch of the section three."
"Can you help me" I'm lost and I need to get to the Tarrant County Young Lawyers Association (TCYLA) speaker's luncheon. The speaker is talking about referral fees and the impact of Texas Code of Civil Procedure Section 8(a). I hear it's a great idea to start networking to find summer internships."
"Of course," answers Ashleigh with the voice of an angel, "just follow the red brick road to Sundance Square. It's quite a walk so you'll need to make sure you have enough time to make it back before Gillmer's class. Also, beware of the wicked witch of section-one, she?s always up to no good."
Stephanie walks down the red brick road with Dusty, her faithful dog. Out of nowhere jumps Corey, a hippie-looking fellow.
"Stop!" shouts Corey, "I'm Corey the Trivia Master. You've stepped on a yellow brick. That means you must answer my trivial question about world affairs from the past 20 years. What country disapproves of its "FTSE" stock exchange being referred as "footsie"?
"I know it's not Japan," ponders Stephanie, "so I'm sure it's England."
"How did you know? This can't be. No one has ever beaten me," sobs Corey.
"Don't be sad Mr. Corey, I'm going to see the Speaker at TCYLA. He's going to help be get through law school. And there?s lunch served," replies Stephanie.
"Well? I do need a haircut. Do you think the Speaker will help me with that?" wonders Corey now jubilant.
"Sure, come along!" replies Stephanie.
La-de-da, so Stephanie and Corey trots further down the road when they suddenly collide with a tortfeasor recklessly running through.
"I'm Jack the Tortfeasor," he says as words rapidly blur out of his mouth, "I'm sorry to run into you because running into you would be a harmful or offensive contact without your consent. Please don't sue me. You see, I forgot to print my first memo this morning so I uploaded my computer file online folder. But the Word document wouldn't open at the library computers or the computer lab at the other side of the building. I had to run back to my computer back in the classroom and e-mailed the memo to myself. By then, I had two minutes left before class started. And what did you know, the printer couldn't print at the computer lab! Just my luck because the library computers still couldn't download my memo and I didn't know what to do. Finally, my friend Justin fixed the printer and saved my bum. Boy, I sure wished I had more common sense." (He said all this without taking a breath.)
"Well, we're going to see the Speaker at TCYLA. Maybe he'll give you Common Sense," said Stephanie.
"Arff," barked Dusty.
So Jack the Tortfeasor joins the group and they skip merrily down the road. Along the way, Dan, the most handsome and best-looking guy in all of Wesleya, joins the entourage.
"There you are my little pretties," hissed Erica the wicked witch of section-one, "Why weren't you at the academic support class with your TA today? I know that you were at Trial Court Boot Camp hosted by the Trial Advocacy Lawyers Association. I know that they invited speakers to talk about voir dire, opening statements, and cross examination of expert witnesses, which are all great topics to learn. No matter. After them my flying monkeys!"
"Stand back," says Dan the Stud-like Spud, "I'll take care of the monkeys."
Flashing his bright smile, the beaming radiance of his white teeth blinded the flying monkeys and his broad shoulders scared them away.
"Quick, toss this shot of Tequila at the witch," shouts Jack.
They did and Erica the wicked witch of section-one melted.
"Get a life you section-one groupie," gurgled Erica the wicked witch of section-one, "quit coming to our classes."
"Arff," barked Dusty.
[By the end of their journey, they encountered Nate & Michelle, the PMBR gnomes, Jamie, the fun loving Aggie, and Ben, Jack's evil twin. Those adventures are omitted here. The group finally met with the Speaker of TCYLA at the luncheon and afterwards they went to the Flying Saucer. Stephanie was late for Gillmer's class, Corey got his haircut, Dan continued to be the best-looking 1L, but Jack never got his Common Sense.]
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