Barrister by day, Bacardi by night

Jack's Available for $2,110,548

Apparently if I was a girl, I would only be worth $1,535,348.  Heck, someone with my same statistics -- except that she has XX chromosomes instead of XY chromosomes -- is already worth $65,000 less.  Although I do get $130,000 for just being Asian.  Even the IQ value is different.  For the same IQ level, I get $221,034 as a man as opposed to $153,034 as a woman.  Although had I been female, I get extra dough for the same fitness level and attractiveness.  Now, if there's only some way to cash myself out.

See if you're an instant millionare too ... Human For Sale.

Versus

A recent visit to Parenthetical Statement demonstrates yet again why my blog can never make it with the big boys.  At the very least, I'll give credit where credit is due ... no plagerisms here.*  This leads me to Barely Legal: An Underachiever's Guide to Law School ... where other law students definately have way too much time on their hands.

Anyway, the typical Asian child grows up with his parents expecting a docter, or at the very least, an engineer.  Well, I've done my research and made the comparisions.  Obviously, I've made the wrong decision.

Cool Title You Get Upon Graduation

• Law School: Esquire
• Med School: Doctor

Advantage:  Med School.  No guy has ever, EVER, picked up a girl by saying that he's an "esquire."

For more comparisions, check out Law School vs. Med School.

* at least 99.9% of the time

The Pool Boy

So what do you when you get bored and your friends bombard you with group invites to a new message board system?  You sign up and take a lot of random tests.  When in doubt, check OKcupid out.

Friendly and eager. A teen at heart, you anxiously move about your daily tasks, hoping, praying for a good, instant lay. You're carefree, enthusiastic, and rarely discouraged. Love is cool, but it's not for you right now. You know what is? Crotches.

You're a fun person in both big and small groups, and your friends trust and love you. Inside you, meanwhile, your lust is only growing. Imagine your beating heart sprouting pubic hair. Exactly. Try shaving that.

If you're not scoring enough--which you aren't--you should adopt new strategies. Lower your standards. Be aggressive. Pool Boys are often submissive and hope (desperately) sex will find them. Realize that passiveness will not hook the horny girls you desire. A bolder approach and sheer repetition will.

When browsing OkCupid, consider both The Dirty Little Secret and The Playstation.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe, The Priss

Perfect 10 Guy?

I first came across Jenny Cu's website when I was looking for a good Vegas photo.  Her section on her "perfect guy explained" caught my attention.  Naturally curious, my mouse wandered over the navigation bar and before I knew it, I found myself clicking on the link.  Now, this is no ordinary list (e.g. tall, dark, handsome).  No, Ms. Cu goes to great lengths to detail her reasons - which are well thought out.  She even awards points or assigns deductions for certain characteristics.  For instance, she'll take off 10 points if you yawn when talking on the phone.  Ms. Cu explains, "what are you saying by doing this? I'm too tired to talk to you. or You're boring. Then call me after you take a nap."

If only she provided a rating scale for prospective suitors to measure their potential compatibility.  I can't help but wonder, how nice it would be if all women would provide a detailed evaluation form for men.  This way, if we ever break up, I can cross-reference her reasons for the break-up against her preliminary requirements for the perfect guy.

Bloggers Beware

Whenever I notice that someone googled his way to my website, I have no idea whether this person was an avid blog fan, disgruntled classmate, or potential employer.  If the later class of readers is in fact searching for me on-line, this new readership base may explain my stack of dink letters.  It's this explaination or perhaps just my lack of merits. 

A recent article by Vielka Holness of Columbia University, published in the ABA Student Lawyer, reveals the startling dangers of potential employers finding personal blogs.  Holness rights, "Bloggers frequently reveal a great deal of information about themselves an others.  They world tehy create can be very personal, and they often forget to exercise prudent self-censorship.  They may not consider the possibility that someone entering their name in a search enginge might find their blog."

One characteristic that employers look for in summer interns and full-time associates is an individual's sound judgment and ability to keep information confidential.  For hiring purposes or character assessments, you never want to provide self-incriminating information.  However, blogs are open to the public and easily assessible.  Or do they?

• Fortuantely there are enough something-"Jack Fan" clubs out there that employers have to be quite clever (12,700 sites). 
• "Yu-cheng Jack Fan" pulls up 2 sites that lists me when I served as board members of various organizations.
• "Y. Jack Fan" pulls up 7 sites including one link to my former blog entries on the Texas Wesleyan University site.
• "Jack Fan" + "Texas Wesleyan" pulls up 11 more sites ... but none to this blog.  But hey, I found another Jack Fan who was apparently the NYS Forensic League Congress Champion.  Go Jack-2.
• Alright, I have no idea how anyone finds my site through Google.  But they do somehow.

Holness advises, "don't risk derailing your goals with embarrassing blog entries about yourself or future clients, witnesses, and colleagues."  This certainly puts a damper on risque, indecent, and offensive stories.  Crud.  I hope that you'll enjoy some good, clean, and insightful postings from now on.  However, I will post limited edition off-color comments from time to time, this is available for a limited times only.

Source:  Vielka V. Holness, Blogs are helpful but be care as you post them, Student Lawyer, March 2005, at 16.

Hear all about it ...

For the latest news, groundbreaking news that every law student should be aware of, go The JURIST.  I personally recommend checking out the Paper Chase section, which briefs the breaking news and legal issues.

The JURIST is the authoritative legal news and real-time legal research website powered by a team of law student reporters, editors, and professors at the University of Pittsburgh School of Law in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA.  The JURIST is provides important legal news and materials in an objective and intelligible ad-free format.

Royal tizzleness

Webster eat your heart out.  What exactly does "tizzle" mean?  Well, "tizzle" is the highest echelon of coolness.  Of course, you can find out more about the etymology and usage for "tizzle" at the Urban Dictionary.  And if you're ever left puzzled after another "I Never" game, you can use this dictionary to find out what a "Dirty Sanchez" is.  Other terms you may not know:

• "Cleveland Steamer"
• "Monkey Punch"
• "Lucky Pierre"
• "Tromboning"
• "Donkey on a Waffle"